Rhyme Time in Aisle Nine/Transcript

(The episode starts with John and Flabs hiding behind a dumpster in the parking lot of his apartment and peeking out)

Flabs: Where are we?

John: My apartment. Oh man...looks like the cops got here before I did.

Flabs: Cops? What's that? Sounds soft! Can we go play with them?

John: No, Flabs. Not soft. Uhh...Monica Nutter must be out after me. Great, what are we gonna do?

Flabs: We can fight them, blast through them like we did back at the maximum security banana!

John: No. Not gonna work. They'll shoot us.

Flabs: I'm rubber, you're poop. Whatever you shoot at me bounces back at you.

John: But I'm not rubber, nor am I invisible. We need to run. Run away. Stay low for a while, but how? My car's in the midst of the cops!

John (to himself): Think, John, think. (A train whistle sounds)

Flabs: Oh, what's that noise?

John: The train! Flabs, you're a genius!

Flabs: I am?

John: No, follow me.

(John and Flabs go to the train tracks)

John: Okay Flabs, when an open box car passes, jump.

Flabs: Hmm?

John: Flabs, pay attention!

Flabs: What?

John: I said when an open box car- (Flabs gets nervous and drops a flower he was picking from his mouth)

Flabs: Umm...Jingles?

John: What is it now? (shows the two strangers from the end of Maximum Security Banana hiding behind a tree looking at them)

Flabs: There's people looking at us!

Stranger #1: Flabs, surrender! You're being deported!

Stranger #2: (aims a gun towards them) In the name of King Cluck!

Flabs: Wait! I recognize them! That's the man with the scar! And that's the umm...man with no scar! The C-MAC!

John: What? The C-MAC?

Flabs: The Citizen Management Agency of Chickenistan!

John: Hey! Leave 'em alone!

Man with no scar: Hahaha, what? Milk milk to you too!

Man with the scar: Take him out! He's crazy!

Flabs: Run!

John: Don't worry, Flabs, I was the fastest kid on the track team! (pulls out medal) I'm unbeatable! (The man with no scar fires a giant net towards John and Flabs, thus capturing them)

Man with the scar: Finish the man! Then take care of the yella!

Man with no scar: My pleasure. Say nighty-night, Flabsy Grabsy! (Flabs breaks through the net and scratches the man with no scar's face, therefore leaving him with three scars, and renaming him "man with three scars")

Man with three scars: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

(John grabs Flabs's neck and runs across the train tracks. A train comes with an open box car behind the conductor's car. John throws Flabs in it, and himself jumps in.)

Man with the scar: You can't run forever, Flabs! (Shows inside the box car)

John: That was close.

Flabs: I think my heart exploded! What are we gonna do now!

John: I say we lay low for a day. Rest up. Tomorrow's another day, and we'll worry about that when it gets here.

Flabs: Where will we go?

John: Anywhere but this town. Somewhere inconspicuous. The motel, maybe.

(A few hours later, the duo walk into a room at the motel)

John: (opens the door) Well, it could be worse.

Flabs: Nice! A soft rectangle!

John: A bed? (Flabs starts jumping on the bed)

John: Let's just go to sleep. I'm bushed, and I really just want to go to bed, and wake up, and find out this is all a really bad dream. (Flabs does a cannonball flip onto the floor)

Flabs: Can I borrow some sheets?

John: Yeah...sure, I- (Flabs immediately grabs the top blanket, runs into the bathroom, and slams the door) Do I want to know? (opens the bathroom door) Oh, a nest? That was a lot better than I expected.

Flabs: Well, we're all settled in.

John: Well, good night. (closes the door) And good riddance!

Flabs: Good night, monk! (John gets angry and opens the door again)

John: What did you say?

Flabs: I just said good night!

John: You said: "Good night, monk". Why?

Flabs: Why what?

John: Why did you say "monk"?

Flabs: Woah, calm down, Jingles. I have no idea what you're talking about.

John: Why did you call me "monk"? Do I look like a monk? You know what? I don't have time for this. Good night! (slams the door)

Flabs: Good night! Monk! (John opens the door again)

John: There it is! Right there! You said "monk"!

Flabs: I literally have no idea what you're talking about, monk. (John's right eye twitches)

John: STOP CALLING ME "MONK"!!!

Flabs: Geez, I'm sorry Jingles. I'm sorry your temperament is uncontrollable. Get some sleep. You really look like you need some.

John: You--say nothing! Good night! (slams the door)

Flabs: Good night, monk!

(John goes to bed, but can't sleep because Flabs called him monk)

John: Ngggggghhhhhhhh.....WHY MONK?!?!?

(The next morning...)

Flabs: COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!! (John opens the bathroom door0

John: Flabs, really? Is that necessary?

Flabs: Sorry, it's instinct! I can't help it!

John: Well, I-I guess. Can I please take a shower? Go watch TV or something!

(Flabs goes into the bedroom and turns on the TV. What comes up is a scene from the show The Outstanding Jack Cobra)

Jack Cobra: You can try, Victor Viper, but you can't defeat me, the Outstanding Jackcobra! (Flabs changes the channel again, showing a scene from the StickMan: The Series episode "Whodunnit?"

StickChap: Set up cameras, trip wires, check for fingerprints...

StickMan: We don't have fingers. (Flabs changes the channel once again)

Fat Wizard: My apple!

(Flabs settles on the You Channel news while John finishes his shower. He tries to make coffee, but spills coffee on his shirt. He watches the news with Flabs. The news is reporting about the grand opening of a super-supermarket called Shop Mart, founded by Nathaniel Enders)

Carmen Santiago: Thanks, Rico! Carmen Santiago reporting! We're here at the grand opening of a brand-new revolutionary super-supermarket, Shop Mart. We are seeing record numbers in line waiting for that tape to be cut, by none other than that CEO and founder of Shop Mart, and owner of the You Channel, Nathaniel Enders. Nathaniel, can you tell us a little about Shop Mart?

Nathaniel: Shop Mart's main purpose is to make shopping fun. We engage our buyers with interesting fun new ways of shopping.

Carmen: Rumors are that the aisles rhyme! Is this true?

Nathaniel: Yes. We did it knowing that catchy songs that rhymes are. It's really a science when it comes down to it.

Carmen: Well, there you have it, folks! Thank you, Mr. Enders! Back to you, Rico!

Rico: Thanks for that lightning story, Carmen! Why I think I'll head up there and do some shopping myself! But before that, food poisoning at the Waffle Stoop. Find out why a messy bathroom closed up the popular Waffle Establishment, coming up next after a short a commercial break. (Flabs turns off the TV)

John: Woah. Wait a minute. The bald man from the Waffle Stoop!

Flabs: He's famous!

John: No, wait! He's the owner of the You Channel? Hold on...this is starting to make a little sense now. If he owns the You Channel, he was the one that offered me a job! The one I turned down! Flabs, I think he definitely has something to do with my milkification.

Flabs: Woah!

John: That means...he knows why this happened to me! We need to find him!

Flabs: And how are we gonna do that?

John: The grand opening of his new store! It's today! He'll be there! And so will we.

Flabs: Shop Mart?

John: Shop Mart.

(John and Flabs go to KooKoo's Retail Land!)

Flabs: And this isn't Shop Mart.

John: I know. We have to make a stop first. I have to get some new clothes with all this coffee on my shirt.

Flabs: Right. Can I go to the toy aisle?

John: You know what? Good idea! You give me a moment of peace. Go--go have fun. (Flabs goes to the toy aisle and hangs around)

Flabs: Weeeeeeee! (Flabs then finds what he thinks is a baby, but is actually a doll)

Flabs: Hello, what's this? Where's your mommy? Oh, you're so cold! Holy dough, you're tied in? Hold on baby, stop crying! Rock-a-bye hatchling, on the tree top, when the wind blows, the nest will rock, when the bough breaks, the nest will fall! And flies out the hatch with feathers and all!!! No!! The chickenity! NOOOOO!!! (John shows up sporting a new gray hoodie)

John: Flabs, what are you doing with that doll? (Flabs drops the doll) I got what I needed. Let's go.

Flabs: Stupid toys, hehe. (They then arrive at Shop Mart, and stare at it)

Flabs: Woah! It's....beautiful!

John: It's just a retail supermarket. Let's go and find this bald man. (J&F go inside the supermarket)

Flabs: It's so big! Where do we start?

John: Good question! Where do we start? (The duo start to wonder around the supermarket. When they get to the "pens" aisle, they see an employee struggling to keep the pens stacked.)

Flabs: They DO rhyme! I love rhyming aisles! They go on for miles! Hey look, I'm rhyming!

John: Stop!

fFlabs: It's like Pen Day!

John: Pen Day?

Flabs: What? You don't celebrate it?

Employee's Team Lead: Pick up the pace!

Employee: I'm trying! I'm trying!

John: This is disgusting. Come on.

Flabs: Fine. Bye, pens. (A while later, the duo come to the "jar" aisle)

John: Great. We're not getting anywhere. We've been through at least 50 aisles.

Flabs: Progress?

John: We've hardly scratched the surface, Flabs. (Flabs picks out a jar)

Flabs: Hey look, a jar!

John: Flabs, we're not looking for jars! We're looking for answers! For the bald man! Remember? How stupid are you?!? (The jar explodes)

Flabs: Jingles! You break it, you buy it!

John: I didn't...wait...(John realizes that someone's shooting at them) Flabs! RUN! (John dives out of the aisle, but loses Flabs)

John: Looks like...we're safe, Flabs. Flabs? FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBSSS!!!

(A bag is removed from Flabs's head to reveal the two men from the C-MAC.)

Man with three scars: Why, hello there, Flabsy Grabsy. Thought you can get away?

Flabs: Man with no scar, or should I say, three scars now, you can thank me for that.

Man with the scar: Well, Flabs, we've been following you for a long time. Thought you can escape from us?

Flabs: You know how it is, you pale-frails get comfortable and just like that we rubber chickens slip away.

Man with three scars: You yellas can't do nothing. That's why you're in the chair and I'm-

Flabs: Scar-thriced across the face.

Man with three scars: Ugh.

Man with the scar: We're at a crucial moment, Flabs. We've got you. Now we're cleaning up the Rubber Rebellion. Without you, it will crumble under the fists of the C-MAC.

Flabs: Go ahead. Do your worst.

Man with three scars: We've got your brother too, haha!

Flabs: Chubbs? No, don't you touch him. You can kill me but don't even think abo-

Man with the scar: Oh, don't worry about him. You'll get your wish. Tomorrow, Flabs, you die.

Man with three scars: Good night, Flabsy Grabsy!