Maximum Security Banana/Transcript

JUX PRODUCTIONS FILMS PRESENT

A BAD ANIMATION STUDIOS PRODUCTION

(The episode opens with a man sitting down in a prison cell with his arms tied.)

Man: Milk. Why is everything milk?

Narrator: That's a good question. Why is everything milk? Or more importantly, what does that mean? Well first things first. This guy's called John Jacob. He's a regular boring old guy. But even though he's a boring guy he's also a voice actor in radio personality. Pretty successful too. He got two jobs off for some once. One from a no-name radio station, and one from a big-name-brand-new TV channel called the You Channel, owned by this guy Nathaniel Enders. Out of stupidity, he took the radio station. (The next scene shows John in the radio station room.)

John: You're listening to Wax Cash Radio.

Narrator: He thought he was good, but...

John: Milk milk, milk milk milk milk.

Narrator: Everyone else thought, he was crazy. REALLY crazy. (Scene goes back to prison cell)

Narrator: You see, for some reason, he could only say "milk". It was weird, right? Well, he was thrown into the Nutter Institution for the criminally insane, run by this gal, Monica Nutter. And that's where the story starts. The story of Damaged Sandwich.

(Theme song)

John: Milk. I don't even like milk. Ugh! I've been in here for what...a day?

Voice: That is one disturbed man.

John: Yeah...wait, what? (Somehow, a chicken that looks about John's size has somehow appeared in front of him.) I really am a disturbed man! Now I'm seeing hallucinatory chickens!

Chicken: Rubber chickens, actually. I'm Flabs!

John: My hallucination named itself!

Flabs: My mom named me, thank you very much.

John (to himself): It's okay John, it's just imaginary. Don't freak.

Flabs: No, I'm Flabs! (John stands up)

John: Flabs.

Flabs: Yep!

John: I'm John Jacob.

Flabs: John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith?

John: No, just John Jacob.

Flabs: Bor-reeng! How 'bout I call you "Jingles"?

John: Umm...how about no?

Flabs: Well, aren't you gonna offer me a hand to shake? How rude!

John: I'm a bit tied up at the moment. (Flabs rips off John's prison shirt)

Flabs: Well that's over with. How do we bust out of this maximum security banana?

John: Maximum what?

Flabs: You know, it's like a banana here. Yellow, squishy, and kinda hard to get open. Let's get outta here!

John: And...just exactly how do you plan to get out, in case you have a know that we're kind of...locked in this maximum security banana?

Flabs: (faces the door) Watch and learn, Jingles.

(Jingles starts banging on the door with his beak while making chicken noises while John watches surprisingly. All of a sudden, a guard comes while Flabs hides behind the door)

Guard: Hey, what's the ruckus?

(Flabs dives onto the guard, pushing him away. John peeks into the hallways)

John: Umm...okay. (Flabs follows him) Here, it's this way.

(while John and Flabs are walking towards the elevators, they come face-to-face with one of the workers and Monica Nutter.)

Worker: What the-?

Monica: John? How did you get out?

John: There's Monica Nutter! Run!

Flabs: Oh no, Jingles! We don't run from fights, we face them! (Dives toward the worker) Geronimo! (Flabs somehow appears inside the elevator when its doors open) Come on, Jingles! I found the elevator!

(Monica and Flabs say things to John at the same time. John goes into the elevator)

John: So...

Flabs: Yeah.

John: She couldn't see you, could she?

Flabs: Nope.

John: Strange...

Flabs: VERY strange.

(John and Flabs get out of the elevator near the front door)

John: There's the front door. We just gotta sneak past. (John crawls on the floor and against the security desk)

Flabs: (does flips until he reaches the front door) Invisible! (opens the door and they walk out)

Flabs: Can we get waffles, please? I love waffles!

(John and Flabs go to a restaurant called "Waffle Stoop")

Flabs: This is fun!

John: Just eat quick, so we can get out of here... (A waiter comes)

Waiter: Welcome to Waffle Stoop, what do you want?

John: Waffles.

Waiter: Milk? Cool! Anything else? (John slaps his forehead, grabs the menu, and points to a stack of waffles art on the cover of the menu)

Waiter: (confused) Waffles? (happy) Sure! I'll be back with your order soon!

John (to himself): Well, that went smoothly. (to Flabs) So, Flabs, where are you from?

Flabs: Read it and weep, Jingles! (shows off text on his belly saying "MADE IN CHICKENISTAN")

John: Made...in...Chickenistan? Chickenistan...really?

Flabs: Yep, Chickenistan born and raised! We're in the middle of a war right now with King Cluck.

John: Okay, I've heard enough. (the waiter comes back with John's waffles)

Waiter: Here you go!

(John takes the waffles and gives them to Flabs. Flabs makes insane chicken noises and gobbles down the waffles uncontrollably while John watches stunningly. Flabs then lets out an enormous burp)

John: Okay then...(sighs)...what am I gonna do?

Flabs: Jingles, I'm gonna help you.

John: Help me? Help me do what?

Flabs: Prove your sanity!

John: I'm insane. I mean...look at you, you're an invisible what...rubber chicken?

Flabs: All the better.

John: Why not?

(Flabs's stomach grumbles)

John: What's wrong with you?

Flabs: Umm...well, let's just say that waffles don't agree with my stomach, and my stomach doesn't agree with me. (rushes to the bathroom and flushes the toilet)

John: Okay, then. (drinks a glass of milk and looks at the menu and looks up only to see Nathaniel Enders staring at him.)

Flabs: I'm back and feeling like a new chicken! (John looks back at the table where Nathaniel was, only to find out he's gone)

John: Ready to go?

Flabs: Umm...we can't leave yet. We have to clean the bathroom.

John: Clean the what--no!

Flabs: But it's a mess!

John: Flabs, you're an invisible rubber chicken. Shouldn't it be...you know...invisible poop?

Flabs (nervously): Umm...they were real waffles.

John: (grabs Flabs's neck) We don't have time for this... (The two walk out)

John: Flabs, they make tours for a reason couldn't just- (bumps into Nathaniel) WOAH! Sorry.

Nathaniel: No need to apologize, it was my fault. (The two rush out of the restaurant and hide behind a toy shop)

John: Look's like...we're safe. Flabs, did you hear that guy back at the Waffle Stoop?

Flabs: Yeah, sounded like a pretty polite chap if you ask me.

John: No no, that guy...that guy understood me! I think he might have something to do with my...milkification.

Flabs: Really? What are you gonna do?

John: I just don't know. I guess...I guess I'll go home. Maybe tomorrow everything will be better.

(Meanwhile, two teenagers are spying on Flabs in their car)

Teenager #1: There he is.

Teenager #2: Should we run that yellow down?

Teenager #1: No no, we'll follow him. Keep your distance. You know how easily Flabs spooks.

Teenager #2: How long will we follow him?

Teenager #1: As long as we need to.

Teenager #2: But not too long, eh? We'll bag-intact that chicken as soon as possible.

Teenager #1: In time my friend, in time. Report back to King Cluck. Tell him we'll have in a day.